


Perfect Is Too Much

by Keitorin_chan



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 17:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13194696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keitorin_chan/pseuds/Keitorin_chan
Summary: They had both loved too much, cared too much, and eventually, they just burned out, both losing each other in the process.





	Perfect Is Too Much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Love](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Love).



> So this is just a simple one-shot, inspired by my own life and wild imaginations. Also, I wrote this as a coping method in the middle of the night, unable to sleep as I cried so please bear with any mistakes I make!

Song- Perfect by Ed Sheeran

"They had both loved too much, cared too much, and eventually, they just burned out, both losing each other in the process."

-

They always fought.

Fought about each other's health, fought about each other's safety, wellbeing etc. 

Of course, just like any other couple, there had been sweet moments, but it was always times like this that always hurt more.

She could always remember it. 

The way they would fall asleep in each other's arms as they stayed the night at each other's place, the way they would be cuddling all night as they slept and the way they would play with each other's hair as they talked through the night.

She would always wake up to the smell of omelets and coffee with toast. 

She would always stretch and yawn as she got out of her girlfriend's bed, slowly walking over to the kitchen in that tiny one-room house that always seemed so much bigger whenever she stayed over. 

Perhaps it was because she was only ever invited over when her mom and Brother were out overnight. But she loved it nonetheless. 

The time they spent together was unforgettable.

She would walk over to her 18 year old girlfriend as she just hugged her and rested her cheek against her girlfriend's head, seeing that the 15 year old was taller than her. 

"Mornin'." She would greet softly, still partially asleep.

"Oi get off of me unless you want me to burn your breakfast."

"I'll just throw it away then, and maybe steal some of yours instead." She laughed.

And boy was that laugh the most beautiful thing her girlfriend had ever heard.

They had loved. 

It was always so sweet but it also had times of bitterness mixed in.

"You're going to collapse if this keeps going on!"

"It's not like you can keep up with this either! Your parents give you weekly allowance to support you!"

There was a moment of silence before she answered back in a soft, simple voice, as if she was on unfamiliar grounds and was afraid of where to thread. 

And maybe she was. 

She was afraid to lose the one she loved. 

"I'm just worried about you." She said in a voice so soft it was nearly a whisper. 

"Then maybe you should know I'll be fine and you should stop worrying so much!"

It was a cold, steely anger that both had held in themselves for far too long. 

It ended sooner than it started and both were left at a loss, not knowing what to do. 

And they had lost.

She had fallen into a state of depression and just couldn't get out of bed. She cried to herself every night and could never sleep. 

She skipped school, just staying at home and crying. 

The only time she got out of bed was to shower and even then, she'd stay there for an hour or so, just crying as the warm water fell onto her like summer rain.

Maybe that was what made it so tempting to stay there for longer. 

She did recount being dragged out by a close Friend. They went to a park and she fell asleep, leaning against a tree. 

It all reminded her so much of her love.

Her love that failed and was gone for good now. 

It had all gotten too much and she just couldn't help it. 

Obvious but yet, at the same time, not-so-obvious wounds on her and blood dripping down her hands, she let herself cry again for the nth time back in the bathroom at home. 

"What happened that made us unable to stay together?"

-

She couldn't focus on work. 

She had a job, a job where the hours were Long and didn't allow for her to eat at proper times. 

It was what caused the fights between her and her lover all the time. 

Her lover, the love of her life. 

The mere thought of it hurt. 

It hurt more than she thought it would. 

Why?

Why did they part?

What was it that caused them to leave each other?

How did it all come to this?

Didn't they love each other?

She kept questioning herself. 

Maybe her job wasn't as good as she thought it was. 

'Is she hurting where she is right now?' She wondered, worried about her lover. 

Ex-lover.

"Maybe we are better off without each other."

-

It was at a party six years later. 

The two ex-lovers had spotted each other there. Both of them each with a new partner. 

She was laughing with her boyfriend next to her. 

After years of searching, there was someone who loved her for who she was. She was afraid to tell him how she still loved her.

The girl who had stolen her heart six years ago. 

The girl she still loved. 

The girl who she refused to let go of even till that day itself.

The older, though shorter, girl of the two couldn't help but see that and she just felt a pang of envy run through her. 

Could that have been the two of them had they stayed together?

She'd never know but god did she miss that smile of hers. 

She stared. 

It wasn't something she wanted to do but she found herself staring at her ex-lover without the ability to rip her eyes away.

Her current girlfriend stood beside her as she chatted with some friends of theirs. 

She didn't look sad, no.

But it was the pained look filled with regret and longing in her eyes that gave it all away.

-

Unbeknownst to her, the girl with her Boyfriend had stopped. 

Even that smile, that laugh?

All faked. 

She couldn't find it in herself to show genuine emotion to anyone at all after what had happened between her and her ex-lover. 

It was too much. 

She had seen her ex-lover back there a while ago. 

She turned her head to face her ex-lover just as she looked away.

'I never knew I could miss someone so much till I saw her here.'

And unlike the other, her sadness and pain was written all over her face. 

It was something she hated, how out of the two of them, she had always been the more vulnerable one, the one who showed too much emotion too often. 

But maybe that's just another part of her that made the girl fall for her more. 

-

The night continued, the world continued. 

Both girls separate from each other with their respective partners. 

"Hey, can I talk to you?" She spoke up to her Boyfriend. 

"It's about your ex isn't it?" He asked, a small understanding smile on his face. 

She couldn't trust herself to answer, afraid she would break again. It took enough out of her to tell him how much she still loved her ex, the girl she would give up the world for. 

Thus, she nodded. 

"Go to her and talk to her." He said. 

And so, she did. 

She approached the shorter girl, taking in a deep breath as she tapped the latter on the shoulder. 

"Hey." 

"Hi."

Things were awkward as fuck.

But wasn't that to be expected?

The moment she was about to say something else, the song changed. 

It was a song they both knew too well, the song they had chosen to be 'their song'. 

"Dance with me?"

And so, she did. 

The shorter girl hesitated for a moment before placing her hand in the other's. 

She held on tightly, as if it would be the last time she would ever be with her again. 

And maybe it was. 

"You know, I still love you." She said, taking the lead as they danced. 

That was when the shorter noticed the scars hidden just below her jacket sleeve. 

'What did I do to her...?' She thought. 

The guilt had killed her ever since they just broke up and drifted apart. 

Maybe if she didn't shout at her, maybe if she hadn't gotten so agitated, maybe, maybe, maybe.

Every one of her thoughts started with a 'Maybe'. 

But all they ever wanted was to be together again. 

And yet, they knew it wouldn't work. 

They fit like two perfect puzzle pieces but maybe that was the reason why they broke apart. 

Both held on too much for too long, tugging on the string both ways to hold each other together. That's why, when the tension got too much, the string broke and with it, so did they. 

They could remember how she confessed to her. 

It was on a weekday and they had both rushed down to their usual place after school ended. 

'Meet me at our usual later. I need to rant something out.' She had used as an excuse. 

They had met up and that was where she confessed. 

'Hey, I know I told you I needed to rant but that was just an excuse.'

"To be honest, so do I." 

'I love you.'

"I've missed you so much and I know I shouldn't."

'I know you probably don't feel the same way but hear me out.'

"But I can't help it."

'You're always there for me, whether I liked it or not.'

"I know we messed up and all but sometimes I still look back."

'You've been the one to help pull me back up on my feet when I was at my lowest.'

"And I realise how much I really did love you."

'You've seen me at my worst and you've seen me at my best. Yet, you still choose to stick around me.'

"And I still do love you."

'So please, before you reject me cruelly and we part ways forever, I just-'

They remembered it was after that sentence that they had kissed. 

She had cried. 

It was too overwhelming back then. She had been asked by her shorter Girlfriend why she was crying and the only thing she could tell her was that 'I was so afraid I'd lose you forever.'

But she hadn't known what went on behind the scenes before the confession. 

Her previous crush had approached the taller girl a few days prior. 

"That's enough. You're just torturing yourself now. You need to go tell her. She's probably suffering just as much as you are."

"Can't you tell?"

"It's not me she looks at with that look in her eyes that say 'please give me a chance'. It's not me she looks at when she smiles or laughs and I'm sure as Hell it isn't me she looks at with that spark and all that brightness in her eyes as if she holds nothing against the world."

"It's you. And it always has been ever since the start of the year."

"Fine. I'll only go tell her if you're there as well." She finally agreed after protesting against the idea of confessing for so Long. 

"What? I need moral support."

-

Boy she had no idea how much hard work went into it. 

She made the phone call and she had to keep looking at her love's previous crush for affirmation that she was doing well.

It wasn't a big secret that she herself suffered from self-worth issues of her own.

"You always were the one to take the lead when it came to our relationship."

The song soon ended after a few sad smiles were exchanged between the two of them, all the memories suddenly resurfacing like old wounds that had reopened. 

It stung. 

It hurt. 

But most of all, it made them wish they didn't need to part. 

Immediately after that dance, they both headed back to their partners and the taller of the two just left for the restroom. 

Her head was down, her breathing uneven, her steps quick and rushed and her eyes blinking away the tears furiously.

The shorter of them didn't let it go unnoticed but she figured she needed time to sort thorough her own emotions as well. 

What she didn't know was how the other would go to the restroom just to cry.

She locked herself in a cubicle as she screamed and shouted and cried it all out, all alone. 

She couldn't help but to wish her ex-lover was there to comfort her just like she had been six years ago. 

When she came back, the first person she approached was not her Boyfriend, but her ex. 

"So, I just had to say. I still love you."

"But I can't anymore. We both have our own lives to live and we just never could have made it."

"We were too good for each other and I guess that's what caused us to burn out so quickly."

She gently took the hand of her ex-lover, kissing the knuckles of her hand once before letting go and saying, "I don't think we'll ever see each other again. But I just need you to remember that I still love you and I don't think I ever will stop loving you at all."

"So please, don't forget me either."

And with that, she left, leaving the shorter of the two wide-eyes and tearing up. She wasn't one to show emotions but she really was sad. 

They had messed up, they had fucked up, wasn't that normal?

Why did it all have to end like this?

Originally the one who wanted to fix things, now the one who wanted to move on and the one who wanted to move on, now the one who wanted to fix things. 

And maybe that's what was best for them-

Moving on. 

But most importantly, they were ready to move on.

And maybe, just maybe, that showed just how much they still loved each other.


End file.
